Courtney LeBlanc
After Crying About My Dad, I Masterbate

Because if I don't I might
dream of him and I can't
face that again. The last time
I woke with tears leaking out
of eyes still crusty from sleep
and my whole day was blue
with memories. So tonight, after
crying because I'll never again
hear my father's voice, I grab
my phone and read erotica.
It distracts me enough that
my hand moves south
and I close my eyes, focus
my energy. Eventually I fall
asleep, hand on my belly, fingertips
caught in the elastic of my underwear.
I dream only of the ocean, huge
waves crashing over my boat, the salty
water running down my face like tears.