Paula Ethans

being a heterosexual woman: notes from the field

1. when he tells me, you’re like, not dumb, i smile and blush. i’ll take it.

2. why do we blend bodies if not to mirror one another? i keep

   looking for a likeness that isn’t there.

3. it took me six (6) years to unfollow him on instagram. he made me break up with myself.

4. wouldn’t it be easier if my body, like our history, was erased?

5. you’re smart. like intimidatingly smart. i can fuck with that. – boy who dumps me three weeks later.

6. i keep folding my autonomy for ephemeral acceptance.

7. the third guy i know from high school comes up to me that night at

   my hometown bar and says, so you’re a big feminist now, eh?

8. i’m not convinced we can love our way to justice.