Mike Sheedy

The Dictator

Dear Mr. Spiegel;

Concerning your failure to appear before me on the charge of violating this county's littering ordinance, please be advised that I am now additionally charging you with contempt of court. Unless you surrender yourself ten days hence, on the seventeenth, a warrant will be issued for your arrest. I cannot overemphasize the seriousness of the offense of insulting the dignity of the commissioner's court, and you will be...

Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry to intrude here, Mr. Spiegel, but I'm this son-of- a-bitch's secretary. And he just told me that he'll be cutting my hours to part-time so he can stop paying my health insurance. Can you believe that? He does that, and then he asks me to take dictation like he didn't just crap on my world. I've been working for him for seven years now. He doesn't know how to type and can barely sign his name, so what would he do without me? Dictate, dictate, dictate, all day long. I work for a dictator. But I'm tired of his BS, so I've decided to send you the magic word. Which is "Rochelle." I can't go into detail, but just write to him and mention Rochelle, and someday when I come in for work (if I can afford to stay here), he'll tell me to dismiss your case. I'd better get back to the dictation now. Don't tell him I did this...

In conclusion, I trust that I will be seeing you on the assigned date.

The Honorable Davis O. Cuthrote