Juliene T. Weaver

Radical Places

There used to be days free from AIDS
they were irresponsible days, free as the gay
men finding themselves in the late 70s
gay bars a thing, the lesbian bars full.

Were we internally homophobic—
because of this culture?
It was a mind-explosion time
I remember that first thrill
meeting a real lesbian,
going to my first lesbian bar,
they were enlightening days

the thrill of dress up and party,
the irresponsibility to party,
but we paid bills, went to
consciousness raising groups,
found our people, our writers:
Adrienne Rich, Audre Lorde,

we fought repression, burned our bras
in those days of freedom
before the gay cancer,
before my bisexuality returned
before the blatant change to assimilation,
and I knew I would never be straight again,
even if I appeared straight,
would never marry, would never
have the children I didn’t want,
I knew
and it didn’t feel irresponsible it felt
right
to be in this radical place, it was new and exciting
to consider marrying a gay man for his green
card, a choice to make and I, responsible Virgo,
decided No, I did not want legal entanglement
even if I wanted my gay friend to have the right
to live here, certain things we have to say no to,
like saying yes
it comes from deep inside.