Alexa Unger

Who Ya Gonna Call?

“Father, what a pleasant surprise,” I opened the door to allow him in.
He stood still for a moment, eyes roaming my ceiling. “I’ve been
meaning to visit you.” he said softly, stepping inside while drawing his
Bible from behind his robes. I raised my eyebrows but he paid no
attention. All of a sudden he flicked some Holy Water at me and I
spluttered in surprise. Eyes narrowed in concentration, he continued
on while muttering continuously from his Bible. “What are you--”
but I trailed off, watching my books rise from their place on the table
as soon as he began his little prayer. As fast as I could manage, I
slammed them back down and held them there. He continued
dousing everything in sight with the Holy Water, until it seemed all of
my possessions were beginning to float around. I desperately went
from object to object, grabbing onto them before he could see what
was happening. When he held up the cross, everything went berserk
and I had no hope of stopping it. My cutlery lodged itself into the
walls and plates smashed through my windows. I pulled him out of
the way just as my refrigerator went flying. “You have some bad
spirits,” he sighed. “I didn’t have any until you showed up!” I
shouted. He shut the Bible, kissed it and headed for the door. “Call
me if things get worse.” The door slammed shut behind him and I
looked up just in time to see as my washing machine went barreling
down the hall.