Ethel

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Ethel

Ethel

100 I Love Yous

by
L Scully
L Scully is a trans writer and double Capricorn currently based in the ether. Their first chapbook, *Like Us,* is available from ELJ Editions. Their work can be found widely in print and online in publications such as Hobart, Jellyfish Review, and Wales Art Review. They have been invited to artist residencies nationally and internationally and are a Best of the Net and Pushcart Prize nominee. L’s debut full-length book, *Fuck Me: A Memoir*, is forthcoming from Gnashing Teeth Publishing in Spring 2023. They recently completed their MFA in Creative Writing from Lesley University in Cambridge, MA. L is a winter swimmer and rescue dog parent. Find them on Instagram @_caprihorny_.

from 100 I Love Yous

27. I thought: this is love.

28. I can taste the sunlight on your skin. 29. I can taste the sunlight on your skin. 30. I can taste the sunlight on your skin–

31. I feel so guilty for that thing I said two years ago, the one I never told you about.

32. I’ve said a lot of things in desperation.

33. My psychiatrist tells me the kids used to overdose on cough syrup and I smile because he shouldn’t be telling me that. That’s why I can’t take Lithium, after all, I have a tendency to want a little too much of a good thing.

34. Everything in moderation.

35. When I was a child, my father once told me that if someone out there really wants you dead, they’ll find a way to kill you.

36. Recently I’ve asked; does that apply to yourself?

37. I look up suicide statistics of unrequited lovers.