About Ethel

Ethel would prefer not to have a body.

Or she wishes her body were a lemon tree.  “I want to be covered in deer fur.  I want a dog’s heart and the eyes of a fish.”

“Describing this makes me tired.” Ethel says.

“Somewhere in The Doll Tome it says that we cannot even comprehend how alone we are no matter how alone we are.  I cannot comprehend this.”

Sometimes at night Ethel goes alone into the orchard in the freezing cold.  She curls up in the leaves and pretends she is a worm.  She crawls inside a rotten apple and falls asleep there.  “I can no longer feel the cold.” she says.   she cuts herself in half and then in half again.

This story has no ending.

Or it ends the same way it began and goes on like this forever.  Forever is a word that has no meaning.  Ethel places it on her tongue.  She places a blade on her tongue she places a fish bone she places a coin she places a flame she places an axe she places some witch hazel she places an ant she places a field she places a gown on her tongue and swallows.